Birth - Death - Pride - Humility

Birth and Death
It seems this past week has been a time for opposites. Some believe there is always a polarity of events, some call it karma, some just say, "What goes around comes around." Although this may be true, to wish this upon another person is to wish for revenge. In my Christian belief system what is called for is forgiveness. I know many have trouble with the concept, even to the point of turning away from faith. However, forgiveness does not mean forgetfulness. Neither does it mean that following a forgiving act relationships can continued unbridled by past events. But that's another subject--what my thoughts are on tonight are the opposites shown in the title.

The birth of a child is a miracle. All of the parts are there in that tiny little body, a creation beyond compare. I can imagine no one wishing for a baby not to be born just the way he or she is supposed to be. But it happens. Sometimes very self-evident, sometimes over the course of years problems are discovered.

This week we have been blessed with a beautiful granddaughter, our third grandchild. Sonya Helen has 10 gorgeous fingers and 10 fabulous toes. She has wonderful loving parents, and my husband and I are so very greatful. Besides being able to see her within hours of her birth we were able to care for her brother who is a mere one-year old.

At the same time that we were delighting over our new granddaughter a friend's mother passed away, and as I write this tears fill my eyes over her family's loss. My parents are gone, and so is my stepfather. It is a strange thing to feel orphaned when an adult yet I am not alone with this emotion. The cycle of life is a fact. People are born and people die. Life holds both joy and sadness. The sadness, though, is ours. The life of a Christian that is over is either awaiting the joy of heaven or has already been renewed, depending upon one's belief system.

I had the privilege of meeting this wonderful mother of my friend once. Her character and strength were evident during the few short hours we spent together. And my friend--her daughter--has shown her high character too. You see, she and her husband brought the mother to live with them. She was patient with her mom and did everything humanly possible to make the last months comfortable, allowing her to die with dignity and grace.

When physical events such as these happen, it is a very normal occurrence for other similar instances to be recalled. Right now there is a little boy struggling for life, born with an imperfect heart. Against all odds this little boy, Ellis, has survived for two years. Now with a recent heart transplant the struggle continues. I recall my own's mom's death--the early morning telephone call, the waiting by her bedside until midnight when she died. It was a very, very sad day.

And now, I think upon the children Rick and I brought into this world--three incredibly fabulous children who now are married and having babies of their own. They will know the intense happiness of parenthood as well as the times when things don't go so well, yet no matter what there will be love. Do I wish for them the karma of conflict and hurt that their dad and I have experienced over the years? Never. If I could keep from them all but perfection I would--but they would then be robbed of the richness of life.

Pride and Humility
Everyone needs a niche--some way to feel good about themselves. It is a sorrowful statement when people find it at the expense of others because there has been no one to validate their existence. One must feel good about who one is.

Taking self-esteem from things such as abilities or accomplishments opens us up to a Humpty-Dumpty type fall off a wall. What then happens when suddenly the ability to work or do what has given success is gone? I recall that while growing up I didn't recognize my own face in the mirror since I had no concept of who I was as a person. I recall being told to love others as I loved myself. How I agonized over that idea because I didn't love myself--how could I know how I was supposed to love others? For years I worked tirelessly to achieve my rightful place until it all came crashing down. Consequently I suffered and so did my family. Then, through many years following, I had to find the person that was "me." And yet, pride is fleeting because so is life. Think of the years that this planet has existed. Think of eternity with no beginning and no end. It is very humbling coming to the realization that our time is but a tiny speck on the timeline.

So, what can we leave that will give meaning to our existence? There is only one thing, which is a life of character. If we are leading a dishonorable life, that can be changed no matter what the present circumstance. Christian or not, lives lived with the integrity of personal character do sprout the same--just as my friend's life has uplifted me, and her mother's hers.

I hope that now that I know how to love myself the consequence is that I can love and care for others better by showing respect and dignity--that I will speak praise for every person's walk through life, and will speak out when there is a wrong against others that needs to be righted, and will let go because I respect another's right to live their life as best they can.

There is a saint in the Catholic tradition who was the beginning of the Sisters of Divine Mercy, Sister Faustina. She put forth the idea of doing one act of kindness every day. Large or small--think of how our world would change if every able-bodied person consciously performed just one good deed daily. A thoughtful gesture done not as a way to gain entrance into heaven, but with the mission of following Jesus Christ example of love--an altruistic act with no expectation of return.
What a place this would be!
... babamarusia